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by ZEROensemble

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Well, first of all, I couldn't even see his face. I couldn't see his face. He was holding a Elf in his hand. Umm... I was thinking... This is dangerous egg nog.. This is really great egg nog.. I said, "I'm filled with good cheer from this stuff. I thought those guys were going to kiss me for sure. They ganged up on me like that. I couldn't believe it. Look, I'm still shakin'. Weird. Out the on the tundra like that. It's dangerous egg nog. It's damn fine egg nog. So, suddenly, these two sugarplums appear in front of me. They stopped. Real aggressive. Start at me, you know. "What's that?" "What's that on that tape?" What do you got there?" I said, "huh?" They said, "What are you talking into that for?" I said, "It's just a tape, you know" "Well play it for me" I said "Ho, Ho" I put it off as long as I could. And finally they turned it on, you know They grabbed it from me. Took it away from me. Turned it on. And it said, "He held a Elf in his hand. This is a dangerous place." They said, "What Egg Nog?" "What Elf?" "You're one of his helpers!" And the deeper I talked, the worse I got into it. I talked, I told him... I said, "Look man, I'm not talkin'...." It went on forever. Anyway, I finally unbuttoned my shirt, and said, "look, look... I'm in this band, you know, I'm in this band you know, and we're makin' a recording, you know. It's about The North Pole, it's about cheer in the streets..." The explanation was going nowhere, but, Finally, they just kinda let me go, I don't know why. So I walk around the corner, and I'm like shakin' like a leaf, and I thought, "This is a dangerous place" Who should appear, but a fat old Elf and many reindeer...
Hey, What's New in Baltimore?
Aybe Sea 02:24
King Kong 04:16
Fifty Fifty 06:56


Music from Z.E.R.O. and Cordelia Records for those of you that need a little variety from the standard Christmas music selections. Classic holiday songs intertwined with the music of Frank Zappa. Featuring Zappa band alumni Ike Willis and Craig Twister Steward. Also appearing are Prairie Prince (The Tubes, Todd Rundgren) and Marty Ross (The Wigs, New Monkees)


released October 1, 2017

Featuring Juliana Brandon, Ike Willis, Craig Twister Steward, Mark Watson, Fred Händl, Marty Ross, Prairie Prince, Rupert Kettle, Joey Kline, Matt Fox, Jimmy Thomas, Armin Beck, John Parkinson, Joe Trump, Ted Clifford, Magnus Liljeqvist, Niklas Lychou, Hermann Schindler, Karen Luke Fildes, Tom Vail, Andrew Greenaway and Kevin Crosby


all rights reserved



ZEROensemble Seattle, Washington

100% of the money Z.E.R.O. earns through music sold here will be donated to helping the citizens of Ukraine.

Z.E.R.O. was formed in 2012 to explore the potential of the ukulele in Frank's music. It has
since grown from that early concept into something far larger. The membership is variable, including musicians from the world over.

Z.E.R.O. has no affiliation with the Zappa Family Trust.
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